What can make a good parent?
A great parent is a person who strives to make choices in the most effective interest of the kid.
What makes a great parent is not just identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent doesn't have to be ideal. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Profitable parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it does not mean that we should not work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then our children next. We function as role models that are important for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a terrific parenting experience, including how to stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
Some aren't simple or fast.
And most likely nobody is capable of doing them constantly.
Even though you might not absolutely do all of these things, but the suggestions in this parenting guide can help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the person you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There is no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. To love them cannot spoil them.
Only what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love may - things like material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of love that is real, that's when you will have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child may be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also hearing your child's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and also not to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we're. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant is the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And make it an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good way, instead of to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents that are constantly responsive tend to have better emotional regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child as well as listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you will have a much better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there is an issue.
But there is an additional reason behind communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to offer solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood may want to change several elements of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be aware and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Don't quit if you don't succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Give consideration to your own well-being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the overall health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short term compliance which sometimes is a much-needed help for https://parentinghowto.com/ the parents.
However, this method does not teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The child will be motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your kid that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is much more prone to fighting along with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later on in daily life, they are also far more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline that have been proven to be more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in increasing a kid?
When you're like most parents, you want your child to excel in college, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships along with you and some, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you probably spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate the life of yours, next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Think about what frustration and anger can do for you or your child.
Rather, find ways to switch every bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments if you focus on teaching your child, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, traditions, or practices were scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for increasing a kid and information that are backed by science, here is one of my favorite science-based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every kid is different. Even within the best parenting style, there are able to be a variety of effective parenting methods you could choose according to your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. There are many better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that works ideal for your child.
Of course, you are able to also decide to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and might nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are great. These children are simply fortunate. They can thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is hard, it's also really rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we'll eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!